Why do we connect with others? Because deep down, we all long for trust, understanding, and love. But in a world so deeply connected online, this fundamental human need is being exploited by those with dishonest intentions. Romance baiting—a growing online scam targeting those seeking companionship—takes advantage of this vulnerability.

While anyone can fall victim, older women are disproportionately targeted, though men are not immune. Scammers pose as kind, loving individuals, often pretending to be members of the military stationed abroad, using stolen photos to legitimize their lies. They manipulate emotions to create false intimacy, only to exploit their victims financially and emotionally.

Recently, I had the privilege of helping someone untangle themselves from such a situation. What struck me most was how easily these scams can draw someone in—through trust, connection, and the promise of love. It’s a stark reminder that we all have a role to play in protecting those we care about.

What Does Romance Baiting Look Like?

Connection starts with conversation, and so does manipulation. Scammers know how to say exactly what we long to hear. Here’s an example, altered to protect privacy:

Scammer: “You’re so beautiful. I’ve never met anyone like you before. You have such a kind heart—what are you looking for in a partner?”
Victim: “Thank you, that’s sweet. I just want someone who’s honest and caring. What about you?”
Scammer: “Honesty, love, and trust. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, but it’s so hard to find. Maybe you’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”

As the relationship builds, the requests begin.

Scammer: “I’m so excited to visit you, but my funds are tied up. Could you help me with a small amount? I’ll pay you back the moment I get there.”

This isn’t love—its deception cloaked in sweet words.

What Can We Do?

Scammers prey on isolation. If someone close to you is being targeted, they might:

• Be unusually secretive about their phone or email.
• Speak of a new “friend” who sounds too good to be true.
• Rush to send money or gifts without meeting the person.

The key to helping them is fostering open, nonjudgmental conversations:

• “Have you met anyone new online recently? What are they like?”
• “Have you video-called or met them in person yet? I’d love to know more about them.”
• “Are they asking you for anything unusual, like money or personal details?”

Start from a place of curiosity, not confrontation. Be the safe space they need to open up.

Why This Matters

The photo accompanying this post is from a scammer’s video—a telling example of their tactics. In the clip, only the mouth moves while the rest of the body stays unnaturally still, exposing it as likely manipulated footage.

This isn’t just about catching scammers; it’s about protecting trust. Scammers don’t just steal money—they steal connection, leaving their victims isolated and ashamed. But together, we can prevent this.

• Educate: Share what you know about these scams.
• Empower: Encourage loved ones to verify what they’re told, like using reverse image searches.
• Support: If someone realizes they’ve been deceived, show compassion, not judgment.

Love is about trust, and trust is earned through genuine connection. Romance baiting preys on this foundation, but by staying vigilant and supportive, we can protect the people we care about. Let’s create a culture where it’s okay to question, to verify, and to protect what truly matters—our relationships and the trust that binds them.